Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
