I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
