I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
