fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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