i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
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She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
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Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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