she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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