But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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