He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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