No stitches, just platelets and will power
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
