he thought i was a dude.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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