Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
