Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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