I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
