Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
