The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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