I feel great
I just peed on a car
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
