i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
