I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
