first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
