Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
