a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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