my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You ruined the universe
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
