Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
