i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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