On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
