i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
