remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
my poor anus
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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