I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
