My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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