she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
