Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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