and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he fucked my hip out of place.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
