Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
