the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
MIDGETS
????
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize