There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
