i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My dick has a subreddit
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
