dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
