So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
