Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
