it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
