If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize