you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
