Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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