I think my vagina is haunted
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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