If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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