Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
