so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
