hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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