ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
