I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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