1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
