He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
