I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Ketchup is God's man juice
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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