he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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