Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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