Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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