Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
