I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
