is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Randomize
