hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
