He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
