Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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