my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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