I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
