i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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