I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
