you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm too high and old for this...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
