hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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